I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
