Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Text me some of your sweat
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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