i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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