I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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