I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
