is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
