Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
