i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
