Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need a beard to bite.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
