am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
