So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
