remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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