i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize