I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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