Non-Jews are for practice
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
