I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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