and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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