That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
