Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
