When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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