i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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