Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
