i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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