I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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