I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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