His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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