you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize