looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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