I just made out with a guy for $7.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
