I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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