Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have tasted many bathrooms
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize