i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
