Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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