He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
