Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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