capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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