She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
