I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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