But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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