im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
