If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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