A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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