dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
