I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
