Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend