White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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