You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.