OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
