I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.