We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
