Your tits are I can't wait for
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out