so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
