btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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