she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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