and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
