taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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