There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
