...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
