People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
please don't ironically join a cult
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