i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
