so explain again why im purple
no
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
