Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
