she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
These tits shall not be calmed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
