apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
