dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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