i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
