I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Welp...herpes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
