Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
