What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
