My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records