so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.