is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default