He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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