So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
