You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
