How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
