Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
